Kitchen Memoirs are a collection of stories about the people and dishes who have inspired me most in the kitchen. Each month I will share a new story about one of these people accompanied by one or more recipes. This month’s story is about my Father-In-Law, Perry. 

“I’ve so been looking forward to this!”, Perry says. We’ve been talking about this day for months: logistically to ensure it was on the calendar, but realistically as a welcome distraction. Admittedly though, a summer day like this is pretty common at my in-laws. The grill smoking, the tunes cranked up, the table on the deck strewn with various snacks and beverages. Yep…we’re grilling and chilling today. 

The Summer That Started It All

The summer of 2006 was filled with so many incredible memories. It was when my now husband, Nate, and I started dating, therefore a lot of time was spent at his parent’s house. We had just wrapped up our freshman year of college, and summer was in full swing: days on the river, softball tournaments, and the inevitable introductions to each other’s hometown friends and family. There were countless late nights with Nate’s parents, Perry and Debbie, filled with laughter and a genuine sense of getting to know each other. One time in particular sticks out when I knew I was “in”: my now mother-in-law (jokingly? Seriously?) proposed to me on behalf of the family. I knew I had found a second home.

Since that incredible summer, Mr P. (as he is lovingly referred to) has been consistent with three things: taking photos (“Perry Paparazzi” is another nickname), calling me Miss Jamie, and being a master of the grill. 

Let’s Grill

You see, my father-in-law has always been a grill master. Particularly when it comes to ribs. His tendency to grill in monstrous proportions can be attributed to his simple desire to make people feel welcome, always. “Normally I’ll do 6 or 7 racks. Just because, ‘Why not’? Then everyone goes home with a goody bag. I just love doing this.” After years of being a willing and enthused recipient of these said goody bags, I can confirm that even his day-old ribs are still juicy and tender. He sure knows what he’s doing!

Years of practice have honed his grilling skills, beginning with his Weber charcoal grill which he declares “is everyone’s first grill”. He also loves watching cooking shows dedicated to grilling. “I’ve been watching Pitmasters. Every time I watch it, I get hungry. I think, ‘Well, I could do that!’. That’s the thing: grilling is easy. It just takes a lot of time”.

Steak…Again?

When Perry reflects on his tenure in the grilling field, it stems from his Dad grilling when he was younger. “My Dad mostly did chicken, burgers, and steak on the grill. I learned just by watching him. In fact, I remember us kids would always say, ‘Oh…steak again?’. They always bought a side of beef, so we always had steaks.” 

He recalls his Dad’s method for cooking chicken, which yielded the juiciest chicken. “You get a pack of bone-in chicken, put it on tin foil, and then use Lawry’s. Wrap them up, and grill them! It’s been ages since I’ve had that. It gets so juicy.”

“That’s the thing: grilling is easy. It just takes a lot of time.”

Whether the grill was fired up or not, a home cooked meal was always a regular occurrence in his house while he was growing up. His mother, Jerry, stayed at home and always had a hot meal on the table for supper. “She did a lot of meat and potatoes. And what do I like today? Meat and potatoes.” Even Debbie, who has been Perry’s sweetheart since 8th grade, recalls her having treats, cookies, and specifically Swiss Cake Rolls always available for everyone to enjoy. 

Perry’s father, Bud, tragically passed away unexpectedly when Perry was just 17. Making this painful memory even more impossible to comprehend, his Dad’s passing came just 18 months after his sister was killed in a car accident. In such formative years of his youth, he reflects momentarily: “It wasn’t really a great time in my life”.

While this moment of his life holds so much grave weight, he found solace in the company of friends, in sports, and in processing this tragic chapter by way of writing. “I wrote a paper in 11th grade English. It was called, ‘A Father, A Brother, A Son’. We were supposed to write a paper about what impacted our life the most. After I had graduated, a friend told me , ‘Nice job on that paper’. Apparently my English teacher read it to future classes.”

Admittedly, neither Nate or I had heard these stories about Perry’s past. It’s with this history that it becomes so clear why Perry cares for his family so fiercely: life is short, and time together should be cherished.

Prankster Perry

Though his teenage years are riddled with painful memories, there are countless lighthearted moments that he recalls as well.

“We found our fun”, he says, thinking back to his middle school years growing up in Bayport: a small town on the St. Croix River, dividing Minnesota from Wisconsin. In fact, the stories just keep coming including the time he slapped his cousin across the face resulting in his chipped tooth, “borrowing” wine from a Stillwater cave that happened to be connected to a famous Italian restaurant, spearing carp, tracking rodents…evidently, irrepressible mischief was common during these years. In fact, to his parent’s disappointment, he and his siblings much rather preferred being outside as opposed to enjoying the new color TV they purchased one year. Hearty laughter accompanied the telling of each of these stories, both from the teller and the audience. 

The Ribs

Perry’s process for ribs may be presented as laid back, but there’s an unspoken precision in his method. The night before a day of grilling, Perry preps the ribs. “I could do competition ribs, where you remove the membrane, but I normally skip that. I’ll trim some of the fat, but not much. Normally I’ll cut them in to two bone slices, and the reason I do that is so I can season it all the way around, which means more bark.”

The ribs gets seasoned liberally with the only spice mix Perry ever uses: Wee Willy’s #2.  This Minnesota based company has been making their incredible spice mixes for 18 years, the majority of which I would bet Perry has been an avid fan and customer. He remembers when he and his brother, Carey, went in on a 5 pound order of the mix, which he admits “didn’t last long”. “Wee Willy’s is good on anything, but it’s the only thing I use when I make pork”. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next up is getting the grill prepped. After a long soak, cherry wood chips are drained (in to the flower pots on the deck, of course) and placed in to three well-worn smoker boxes. In to the grill they go to until large plumes of summer’s sweetest aroma fill the air: it’s time to grill. 

After turning the burners down, on go the ribs. At 6 to 7 racks a session, the grill grates start to resemble a jam-packed parking lot, with the meaty vehicles squeezed in tight next to one another. The lid gets closed, the drink refilled, and one last temperature check, ensuring the grill is between 250 and 300 degrees, signifies the moment Perry grills for: “”Now this is why I grill!”  

He’ll let the smoke subside at which point he’ll transfer the ribs, now glistening with small pools of grease, to foil pans. He then mops barbecue sauce on to the ribs – a different sauce for each pan – covers them with tin foil, and returns them to the grill for another 1 1/2 to 2 hours, while “everyone is having a good time”. When asked how much longer they’ll need, his answer is simple. “I just gauge how the party’s going. If everyone’s having a good time, I’ll turn the temp down and just let them go a little longer”.

The definition of a people pleaser.

   

Mr. P

To know Perry is to understand that he’s always up for a good time. From his booming karaoke voice that can sing every word to “Cracklin’ Rosie” backwards (a talent which my husband inherited), his proclivity for picture taking, his genuine love of “Dad jokes”, his connection with Santa Clause, his ability to joke about a lost phalange in a motorcycle accident just 1 year ago, and even his invention of the ever-impressive “Waterfall” trick, it’s obvious that Perry’s approach to life both in and out of the kitchen is simple: have fun. 

As his own Dad told him years ago, after Perry had shared his plans to get a job and make money while still in high school, “Why in the hell would you do that. You have the rest of your life to work. Enjoy this while you can.” Although the years have gone by, the work has remained, and life has continued to throw him curve balls, I don’t think Perry realizes that he’s been living that advice from his Father all along. 

Enjoyed this story? Check out my Kitchen Memoirs series for more delicious tales. 

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Tags: BBQ, featured, Grilling Recipes, Kitchen Memoirs, Kitchen Stories, Ribs, Storytelling